The pain of loving an older man in an African setting is unimaginable. In Africa, cross generational relationships are looked at as forbidden and undesirable. This is because trends have changed and society now looks at cross generational relationships differently. Allow me present you the before and after of this issue and also share with you what leaves my mind perplexed.
Back in the earlier African Traditional Society,it was legit for a man who was as old as your father to ask for your hand in marriage and your parents accepted the man with aims wide open. This man would take you to his home and at the age of 12 a girl would play the role of a wife, this happened in multiple tribes in Africa.
But in the Africa we live in today, falling in love with an older man makes you a disgrace to not only your family but your community at large. The African society has evolved in such a way that when you tell your peers you are dating an older man, the first thing they will do is call him a, “sugar daddy.”
Then follows the seterotypial judgement which has made many young girls afraid of opening about these kind of relationships because of fear. I find this ironic because a society that held these relationships in high regard now looks at them as a disgrace. It is also ironic how some learned girls now find pride in dating a man is way older than them yet society looks differently at it.
But what do I mean when I say a man older than a girl? In the African society a man who is ten years older than you is who society calls a “sugar daddy”. Some well travelled Africans or like I love to call them exposed Africans will say age is just a number, but is it? Is age just a number? Or is it a world definition of time that is supposed to put a limitation on some of the things we get to do in life, haha that is for another day, back to the African society.
The society in Africa has evolved to an extent that young beautiful girls have become hard hearted because of the stereotypical judgement they face. I know loving a man who is way older than you is a big deal and forever will be. Reason being it comes with a lot of strings attached and issues to deal with. Perhaps the man already has children with other women so how will you deal with all that drama?
So many questions left unanswered, but what if this man is the love of your life? What if is he is your forever? What if he is your George Colonney and your Amaal? What do you do? Do you let society’s setreotypical judgemental stumble you done? Do you chose to walk away because of prejudice society has about young girls who marry older men?
I honestly do not have a solution to this dilemna but it is one that has been bothering my mind for a long time, so I request that we ponder about this together by you leaving a comment.
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